Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
