U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
