i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
