he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
