yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
