he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize