let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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