The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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