is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize