I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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