Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
