"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
