Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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