Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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