Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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