there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
