booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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