Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
