She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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