ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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