very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
