I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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