he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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