she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
