Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
