youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
