'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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