I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why is there bacon in the couch?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
