I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
