Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
