Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
