Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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