Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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