I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
