You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
