In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
