You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
