your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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