Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
