there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
