well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
please don't ironically join a cult
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