3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This baby is an asshole
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
