I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
