Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
