it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
