did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
