Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
