Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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