I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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