yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
