he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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