Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
