U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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