There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
