look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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