what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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