Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
