we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
