you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
