before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
