He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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