you mean i was at the winter classic?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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